


Staring You in the Face

by GatesKeeper



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon Compliant, Jealous Dean Winchester, M/M, POV Sam Winchester, Supportive Sam Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:48:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25045660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GatesKeeper/pseuds/GatesKeeper
Summary: Sam didn’t have a fucking clue what was going on and it was starting to freak him out. Cas was staring—which, you know, wasn’t that unusual for the angel—when it was directed at Dean. But for days now those blue eyes had been putting him under an X-ray.
Relationships: Castiel & Sam Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 40
Kudos: 541





	Staring You in the Face

Sam didn’t have a fucking clue what was going on and it was starting to freak him out. Cas was _staring_ —which, you know, wasn’t that unusual for the angel—when it was directed at _Dean_. But for days now those blue eyes had been putting _him_ under an X-ray.

He first noticed it a few mornings ago when he’d come back from a jog. The angel had been perched on a Pottery Barn stool Dean had bought for when people wanted to sit around the kitchen island.

“Hey, Cas,” he’d greeted, walking over to the sink to refill his water bottle, and proceeded to chug down the contents a little too quickly. Some of the water missed his mouth, trickling down to his already sweat-soaked tank top. Flushing with slight embarrassment, he was surprised to find the angel idly following the trail of a few of the droplets as they traveled over his collar bone to the neck of his shirt.

“Uh…” he’d said, intelligently, but Cas had just continued staring without commentary, causing him to shift from foot to foot. “I’m… gonna go… take a shower,” he’d announced after a minute, jerking his thumb in the direction of the hallway.

“It seems like you could use one,” Cas agreed, and with that, Sam beat a hasty retreat.

By the time he’d emerged from the bathroom—safely dressed in three layers of shirts—he’d decided that whatever was going on in the angel’s head, it certainly wasn’t what it looked like, and that he should probably just forget about it.

Only…It. Kept. _Happening_.

He’d look up from his book to find Cas studying him from the other end of the library even though his long fingers held his own volume. The angel sat across from him at their favorite local diner, examining Sam as the hunter read over a menu he knew by heart by now. On movie night, Sam squirmed uncomfortably when he caught Cas watching the side of his face instead of the screen, a frown between the angel’s eyebrows.

And, of course, he wasn’t the only one who noticed. As the days passed, Dean went from looking confused to hurt to mildly angry whenever all three of them were together. And yet, no one mentioned it.

Sam knew that he should probably talk to one or both of them about it. After all, Sam had been the one preaching more honesty within their little family for years now. But he couldn’t think of a way to broach the subject without _also_ acknowledging Dean’s and Cas’s whole—thing—which the three of them had lived with in silence for so long now that it practically had its own room at the bunker.

But what if there was actually something wrong? Sam had to wonder. What if Cas was being affected by a witch’s spell or a Cupid’s arrow? What if he was possessed again? What if Sam’s body—purged of demon blood since the Trials—was becoming re-infected and the angel didn’t know how to tell him? Yeah, he was definitely going to have to say something.

An opportunity presented itself sooner than expected when Sam went to fetch his morning coffee. Cas was, once more, in the kitchen, this time with his head bowed over his phone. He glanced up when Sam came in, but to the hunter’s relief, went back to texting Claire almost immediately.

Sam decided to linger—pulling out eggs and spinach for an omelet. At the last minute, he also pulled out bacon for Dean—not willing to put his brother in an even worse mood by not making enough breakfast. To his surprise, the silence between himself and the angel was more relaxed than it had been in days—interrupted only when Cas reminded Sam that Dean liked cheddar cheese in his omelet when Sam’s hands hovered over the Swiss.

It was so normal that Sam felt brave enough to turn to face the kitchen island fully. “Cas, do mind if I talk to you about something?”

“Of course, Sam,” Cas responded, setting his phone to the side politely.

“You’ve kinda been—I don’t know—looking at me strangely the last few days, and I was just wondering what was up?”

Cas blinked. “I apologize. I hoped I was being subtle.”

Sam snorted, but it was followed by a smile, “Not so much.” He leaned against the counter, waiting.

Cas’s eyes flicked to the side and down. “You must know you’re an attractive man, Sam.”

All the easiness the hunter had been feeling disappeared. _Please, don’t let this be going where it sounds like it’s going,_ he almost prayed before remembering his present company. 

“You’re intelligent and considerate and I highly value your company,” Cas continued—Sam’s heart thumping faster than the footsteps of someone being chased down a dark alley. “To be honest, I consider you a brother as much as a friend.”

“Oh, thank God,” Sam exhaled, running both hands through his hair. “I mean…” he quickly corrected himself. “I feel like you’re my brother, too, Cas.”

Cas’s head tilted to the side, confused by Sam’s behavior. “I don’t see what my Father has to do with this conversation.”

“Just an expression, Cas. Hard to break. So, why, exactly are you telling me how great I am?”

“Well--” Sam is surprised to see Cas’s cheeks turn slightly red. The angel had become steadily more human over the years—eating and drinking with them at meals even though food still lacked most of its flavor, smiling more easily, even taking showers occasionally just because he enjoyed the feeling. But it was one thing for Cas to mimic their behaviors and another to blush involuntarily. “Dean refers to me as his brother too, sometimes. I know he means it as a compliment considering how much he cares for you, but I—I’ve spent the last week trying to view you the same way I view Dean—and the feelings aren’t quite—the same.”

It was like when Sam used to watch Kevin solve a Rubik cube—how one moment, all the colors were hopelessly mixed up, and the next, everything fell into place. “I’ll bet,” Sam responded—flashing a small grin now that the world made sense again.

Cas’s eyes flicked up to him, cautiously—and Sam’s good humor disappeared. He realized suddenly how _hard_ this must be for the angel—trying to sort through emotions he was never meant to have—while both Dean and Sam pretended not to see what was clear on his face. Sam gentled his voice. “You know if you ever want to talk to me about—anything—you can, right?”

Cas nodded slowly, but he didn’t seem convinced—or maybe, he just needed an extra push.

“Do you want to start by telling me what is so different about Dean?”

Cas huffed—a noise caught halfway between exasperation and amusement—which Sam thought was a pretty good answer in and of itself.

“He’s just so….” Cas’s posture straightened. “ _Human,”_ he decided on at last. “He feels things so _acutely_ —and even when I don’t always agree with what he is feeling—whether it’s blind anger or misplaced guilt—I… admire that he’s the kind of person who lets his heart guide his head so often.”

A memory came to Sam’s mind unbidden. “I, um, lectured him a bit about always making the heart choice over the smart choice a couple of years back. He wanted to kick Lucifer out of your vessel before the showdown with Amara and I…” he cleared his throat, hastily.

Cas’s eyes went soft. “I’m glad you talked him out of it. But I’m also glad that he wanted to be impulsive on my behalf. If that makes sense?”

“Yeah…” Sam’s smile turned sad, “It does.” He remembered watching Jessica throwing her head back in laughter, talking to a barista at the coffee house where they were supposed to meet for a lunch date. She was naturally bubbly, of course, but that didn’t stop him from slinging his arm around her shoulders as soon as he joined her in line. _Stupid,_ he thought of his past self with a shake of his head. But that’s kind of what love _was_ —selfless and selfish in equal measure.

“Metatron once claimed that I…” Cas began before abruptly cutting himself off.

At first, Sam thought he was only hesitating, but then, a few seconds later, he heard footsteps down the hall. “Later,” Sam promised, squeezing the angel’s shoulder comfortingly.

He just turned his attention back to his chopping board full of bell peppers when--“What’s going on here?” Dean asked when he appeared, casting suspicious glances between his brother and his best friend.

“Nothing much,” Sam replied with practiced casualness, wiping seeds off his knife. “I was just asking Cas if he wanted to go to the farmer’s market with me this afternoon, but he said he was hoping you’d help him work on his shooting instead.”

“Wha—Oh, uh, yes,” Cas said, able to at least read that much in Sam’s expression. “Angel blades aren’t always the most practical long-distance weapons.”

It was amazing how quickly Dean’s mood changed—lightness spreading through it like milk added to a cup of coffee. “Uh, sure, Cas. ‘Course I can do that.”

“It doesn’t have to be today. I could go with Sam if you’re busy. After all, I wouldn’t want to inconvenience you,” the angel demurred.

“It’s not like spending time with you is a bother, Cas,” Dean said, softly, almost like he was making a confession. Their eyes locked. It was the same way stars aligned or tectonic plates came together. Time slowed down.

And Sam... Sam was never more grateful to be completely and utterly ignored.

**Author's Note:**

> Like this work?
> 
> Check out some of my other Sam POVs:  
> [New Normal](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23494333)  
> [Sharing Is Caring](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24657151)  
> Want to chat with someone about SPN?  
> I'm [@_GatesKeeper on Twitter](https://twitter.com/_GatesKeeper)  
> and [Gates_Keeper on Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/gates-keeper)


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